The penguin is shifting within it's icy castle, an unusual sighting to say the least. It's flapping its wings and wiggling its tail, getting ready to dive into the cold water. The flightless bird seems to be uncertain of its ability to fly, but there is only one way to explore this vast ocean That is right there. He will get cold feet none the less...it is ICE COLD in the water...but the black and white animal is adjusted to these conditions. This hurdle must be within the mind of this male penguin.
Wondering around in my head, where am I? I'm far from home and yet close to my second home. Will this dance still remember me like I remembered her? I'm a bit lost and knocked off course, just jumped right into it. I barely took the emergency/safety rope with me, will I get stuck? It might actually be a good thing, I can be stuck in a good place too....
In my place, in my place....
Walking around in my own room, drawing circles in my mind. I know why I'm here, I know what I set out to do. I'm just waiting for the process to kick in, to start. All that's between my mind and reality is this door. The reality of language... time...space....yes, I'm coming for reality...
Limitations, limitations, limitations, limitations, limitations....limitations...limit...s. I don't want to think in so many limitations, when mentioning it too often you will abide by limitations. In my space of possibilities I do not have limitations. There are limitations everywhere but I'll just think. I'll just think, think in possibilities, not baffling myself about how someone does something. I want to figure out a way to baffle myself with what I do....I do not want to simply use others to show off or test myself. I work with others and it will create the best possibilities.
Temporary limitations...they are my real enemy now. Can I be absolute sure that these limitations are temporary or is it a new state and phase in my life?
P.S. Dear Time, hurry up! Release me of these temporary limitations.
Wow! Today I've really shown the most vulnerable I can be. There was space and time for anything you wanted today. The time was right for plan Y. Because plan "why should I do this?" Was actually something I wanted to do for a while, but I can still ask myself WHY?!
"Why? Why-y-y-y, why-y-y-y"
It was so intimate and intense and just devoured anything that was in my mind that day. It was so exhausting and nerve wrecking preparing for....for....me
Today was the time to stick a Penguin poster to the wall. It still is my little secret for today, even if I showed it to some and told it to some trusted others. It still feels like my secret ability somewhere inside of me.
Maybe one day I can let it out. Only time can tell.
Part 2 - Day 3
Another day 1 in another country. There is the problem right there, I'm stuck in this mental place full of...full of....
Oh, I think somebody's looking inside my brain again. I've really made a mess in here this morning. Have to clean some things, tidy up a bit. There must be a more efficient way of cleaning this place. Why not fill the space with water, invite someone to a poolparty and then simply open the door.
This day has been a disaster but in a good way. Without some lows the highs aren't that good either. So I'm glad about the disaster it was but wasn't really.
Day 1 (July 10)